Transitioning to Life Abroad with Young Children

The word “transition” didn’t show up much in my vocabulary until my first child was born. Then it became something we thought about a lot – How do we transition him from the car seat to the crib? From playing to a diaper change? From breast milk to solids? From the playground to the grocery store? From only child to older sibling? Transitions are a thing with kids; they happen every day on a small scale and over time on a larger scale. The two things I have learned to be true about children, also applies directly to transitions with children: 1) every child is different, and what works for one won’t necessarily work for another, and 2) they require patience.

Our oldest son is 7 years old. He has moved three times before now, but this is the first move he is old enough to remember. Our younger son is 5. This is his first move, period. Moving abroad and learning a new language simultaneously is a hard transition. It has been eased somewhat by our precisely planned arrival to summer vacation in the southern hemisphere. We landed one week before local schools let out for summer break, and we have until the beginning of March to get used to family life here before we embark upon the transition into school life. Here are some things we are doing right now to help with all the changes.

Get Comfortable at Home When we first arrived, my 7 year old was not interested in leaving the apartment. My instinct was to get out, make some plans, and force-feed some fun in order to jump start the transition. Here’s the beach! Here’s a playground we can walk to! Look at the cool exhibit at this museum! Isn’t it great here? Won’t we have so much fun living here?! My son’s instinct was to hide from the world. There were tears and meltdowns when I suggested even the smallest outings, like going for a walk or to a playground.

Despite our diverging instincts, the long and unplanned days of summer have given us the luxury to take our time. During the first couple of weeks, the kids spent a lot of time playing in their new rooms. They had previously shared a small room, so there was excitement in each of them having their own space. They played with their favorite toys and books we brought with us from the U.S. We hung up some artwork we brought along as well as farewell letters from their classmates. They spent time with their dad, who we hadn’t seen in 6 weeks. We decorated for Christmas (summertime is Christmastime!). Of course we had to get out of the apartment to go grocery shopping and to visit our family, but it was a couple of weeks before we left the house with a planned activity in mind.

Explore Your Neighborhood The plan of Viña del Mar is a fantastic place to live with kids. We can walk everywhere, and in the gloriously non-humid 75 degree summer weather, there’s no reason not to. As we began to venture out of the house more, getting to know our neighborhood was as easy as taking a walk. Just one block from our apartment we discovered a beautiful park and playground adjacent to the grounds of a heritage site. We visited “our park” almost every day and spent hours playing, making potions from flower petals, and settling in to our new neighborhood.

On the days we didn’t go to the playground, we would still walk to the grocery store, or just around the block. The more we see the same buildings and landmarks, the more familiar they become, and the more grounded we all feel. My kids say things like, “I know this place” and I know that they are starting to feel more at home.

Find Your Happy Places As we expanded our radius from the apartment, I could resume exercising my SAHM superpower of Finding Things To Do. During those many hours at home, I spent a fair amount of time researching “things to do with kids in Viña del Mar.” Not much besides beach recommendations come up when you Google that exact phrase. But after diving into Facebook Groups and Instagram accounts and asking around, I discovered a wide array of activities to fill these summer days – now that we can get out of the house without tears (at least 70% of the time). Amongst those activities, we have found a few that stand out as our Happy Places; places we can return to again and again when we’re feeling sad, or lonely, or tired of the constant work that these big transitions require.

Be Realistic (AKA Stop Calling it an Adventure) Prior to arriving here, we often referred to this move as an adventure. I have come to realize that may have been confusing, or misleading to our kids who can’t see the bigger picture. I hope that when they are older and look back on this time abroad, they will think of it as an adventure, but for now it’s just life in a different place. There are good days and bad, ups and downs, and in another month they will be starting school, which I don’t think any kid would include as part of an adventure story.